Hello guys and girls! I know it's late but happy new year everybody! =)

I don't know about u guys but new year seems to come too fast for me. It felt like just yesterday I dreamed and hoped for a better year in 2011. Better than the years before. I didn't even realize it but I actually have had quite a good year for 2011. Quite a good year.

2011 was what I called my 'developing self' year. I completely went out of my comfort zone and for the first time since I broke up end of 2005, I don't feel much like a looser anymore. I have found purpose in life. I slept every night with absolutely no thoughts of him anymore and I finally realized I have wasted my good early adult years waiting for something that is never gonna happen and I actually knew it since long ago but chose not to, just so I could feel that I still have a heart inside.

U know what, Dear 18,19,20,21,22 year old self. U don't need him to help u live your life. U don't need him to guide u in making any important decisions in your life. U don't need him when u cried because life was playing cruel on you, u don't need him to be absolutely happy, u don't need him for your confidence, u don't need him to mend a lonely night. And especially, U DON'T NEED HIM TO BE URSELF!

Huh, just figured that out. I thought I lost myself completely when he left me, but I was wrong. I never lost myself. I just don't know who I really am. I've spent my whole teenage years growing up with him, everything in my life was him, I've put a label for myself as 'his girl', I be 'his girl', do what he want, do what's convenient for our relationship and that my life goal was him. Pfttt WHAT WAS I THINKING!

Well, got caught up in there! Ok as I said, 2011 was quite a good year for me. Here's why:

1. When I talked about being completely out of my comfort zone, I meant working while I was still studying. As a 'Customer Service Representative' no less! A job that requires me to talk to people and well answering phone calls. Interesting since I'm not really a public person, I get shy around strangers, and there I was, even though not in person, talking to  total strangers with a whole different kind of accents that I didn't even understand sometimes. Fun, but after 4 months I get bored. (And also cause I graduated and I know I can do and earn better if I resign).. :p Nevertheless, It boosted up my resume. So, yayyy! =)
2. Finished my degree with a sharp 3.00 CGPA. I was not a genius nor am I hardworking student, so I think I kind of deserved that. Because I wanted that 3.00 so bad, I needed to get a solid A on my last paper, if I even get A- minus, I would've ended up with a 2.99 CGPA for my degree. So close but yet so far. Never gonna let that happen. Miraculously, despite the many obstacles, (Oh, yea I almost might ended up getting a 'B' as my lecturer claimed I cheated on my final assignment, pfttt bad experience!). Alhamdulillah everything resolved and u know if u really want something u'll get it? I got the 'A'.
3. Job hunting! Fabulous experience ever for me. Need I say more? Let's just say out of all 7 interviews I went to, I got the best of it and I can say I love my job now. The best thing I ever achieved in 2011!
4. Exercising and of being healthy and fit. I signed up for  bootcamp, sort of exercise regime which was no aerobic and no walking in the park kind of routine. I ALMOST DIED DURING THE FIRST SESSION! Totally unfit! :p But ah, well after 3 months I kind of just get by. Until now I still haven't loss that much weight, but hey, I'm working on it! Let's just say, I am still a work in progress. But I gained muscles though. Not that much, but ah well.. =)
5. I made the biggest purchase on books of my entire life in the year of 2011. FUN FUN FUN! But I have yet to finish even 3 books out of almost 20 new books? My badddd.. I was too busy! Item no.3 and 4 are the reason why. 

So, yeah.. That was my 2011. And now it has ended. Comes the new year 2012. I know this year is going to bring its own set of challenges to me. But ah, well, I'll get through. I always get through. What doesn't kill u makes u stronger, no?

Dear 2012,  bring it on!